Forgiveness

On Forgiveness

1. matt 18:21-35, eph 4:32 god’s forgiveness of us as the basis of our forgiving others
2. consequences of not forgiving
--matt 6:14-15 refusing to forgive keeps us from god’s forgiveness
--II cor 2:10-11 refusing to forgive allows satan to outwit us
--eph 4:26-27 refusing to forgive gives the devil a foothold in our lives, our greatest enemy to spiritual health
--destroys us emotionally
--destroys us physically ps. 32:3-4
--destroys others prov 17:7, 27:4
3. review these consequences when tempted not to forgive
4. make a prior decision to forgive
5. empty your “resentment tank”--resentments can be buried for years without our realizing it

Steps To Forgiving

1. express your feelings to god
2. recognize your lack of forgiveness--important to say “I have not yet forgiven”
3. confess it to god--different from #1!!!
4. make a decision to forgive--a decision to surrender
--sign of a grudge: the need to take people on a museum tour of old hurts and injustices
5. ACT CONTRARY TO YOUR FEELINGS!!!!--it’s easier to act your way into new feelings than to feel your way into new actions
6. seek to identify the cause--perhaps the other person’s actions are not the cause of our feelings, but only a trigger for unresolved issues in our lives--the cause of our feelings is INTERNAL!!!
7. do everything possible to seek reconciliation…as far as it depends on you! ro. 12:18, matt 5:23-24

Note:
--if forgiveness doesn’t take place, the one I have a grudge against has control over my thoughts, my feelings, my life!
--forgiving and reconciling are different: sometimes, forgiveness is possible but reconciliation isn’t, esp. if the other person is unwilling

1. what if the other person doesn’t repent? --> luke 17: 3-4
2. is forgivinrg just a decision? should I be able to do it immediately? --> forgiveness is a process! to expect immediate inner change of feelings is unrealistic
3. when I forgive, should I be able to forget? --> forgetting is physically impossible--banking image: deposit, deposit, deposit first before withdrawing from the relationship
--> forgiveness takes place when we remember the incident, but the emotional memory has been forgotten
4. what if I’ve decided to forgive, but can’t get rid of the anger? --> have you applied luke 6:27-28, ro 12:14, 17, 20-21?
--> act out your forgiveness! emotions can catch up to actions
--> enlist a wise friend to help: James 5:16--but don’t infect the other person with your anger!
5. what if someone sins against us as a community? --> see II cor 2:5-11 deal with it as a group, not just individually

Myths About Forgiving

1. if I forgive, I must excuse him for what he did
2. if I forgive, I must trust the other person unconditionally
--> be willing to trust, but you don’t have to trust unconditionally if the other person hasn’t repented or done something about his/her untrustworthiness
3. forgiving means I must have a close relationship with the person
--> jesus didn’t have a close relationship with everyone he forgave!
4. if I have truly forgiven, I must be reconciled to the person
--> reconciliation requires both parties to participate! forgiving and reconciling are two different issues!

from
Communication Seminar with Dr. Steve Allison
Chemnitz, Germany
November 25, 2004

Caveat Emptor

My disclaimer:

I will be posting my study notes as they are already on the computer. Typos notwithstanding. You're more than welcome to point out grammatical and spelling errors if you so desire. I might or might not correct them, depending on what kind of time I have.

However, if you differ with me on the content of my notes, I definitely want to hear about it! Feel free to ask me what I'm talking about, feel free to "argue" with me, feel very free to question what I post here. I am more than open to learning, and if I can learn from someone's differing opinion, I want to do so. Please don't think that I'm posting these notes because I believe that my viewpoint is the be-all and end-all of Christian thought. One of my purposes, as stated below, is to point people in the direction of Jesus. You can't get spiritual water from me. In fact, I WANT you to call into question what I write. Please don't take my word for it. Check my writings against scripture and call me on it if I'm writing something contrary to God's Word. His Word is my standard of measurement, and if I'm measuring wrong, I want to know about it.

My opinion doesn't matter. Only God's opinion matters.

Announcing Free Lemonade

Okay. So, you know those lemonade stands kids used to have at the side of the street, and they'd sell lemonade for 10 cents a cup? At least, I think that's how it worked. Nobody in Germany does that, so I'm just guessing at the stateside-lemonade-selling-protocol.

Anyway...this blog is my lemonade stand in the wide, wonderful world of Blogland. Friends and neighbors, I'm offering lemonade here. FREE lemonade. Okay, so it's more like water, not lemonade. The lemonade idea was just bait to get you hooked.

Hooked into what, you ask? Well, even Blogland folks get thirsty, so here's what I'm "selling":

I plan to use this blog exclusively as a place to post my notes from Bible classes, Bible lecures, sermons, study guides, you name it. Everything I post here will be for the purpose of quenching spiritual thirst. I offer my notes, no strings attached, for anyone who wants to read them, copy them, use them for personal studies, etc. Not because I think my notes are great, but because they're sometimes useful to me, and maybe they might be useful to somebody else, too. Hopefully, some of what I post here will spur someone on to go to the source of thirst-quenching: the holy Words of Jesus Christ, who offers the spiritual water that each of us humans desperately need.

So watch this space! I've got "lemonade" coming right up!